Goku I want a divorce
by Cher the writer
Summary: Goku comes down for his once a year visit, and Chichi wants a divorce. Bulma tried to teach him a quick thing or two about romance


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Goku I want a divorce!!! **  
  
Goku was allowed one day a year to come and spend time with his family. After the cell saga everyone really started to feel Goku's absence. It only grew worse with more time. No one could ever seem to get past it. When Goku was due to come down Chichi would prepare a huge dinner. She wanted to spend time with him. But damn him. He would just come, eat and fight until his time was up!! This time when he came he would have a ssurprise. He came into his kitchen to find Chichi sitting down with a man dressed in a black suit and glasses. There were a few papers on the table. Goku just ignored the man went up to Chichi and gave her a very unromantic bear hug and demanded his food.  
  
"Chichi I am so starved! Where is the food?" ChiChi frowned, Goku did not even take notice of the stranger in their home. It has been a full year since she last saw him and it was always the same with him. She could not take it anymore! "Goku there will be no food here for you this time! You can't just come here to eat, this isn't a take-out restaurant!! This man is here, he is my lawyer. I want a divorce Goku!! "Chichi, you don't have to shout! Anything you want you can have! You don't need this man to get it for you! I will give you whatever you want!! "Goku do you even know what a divorce is??"  
  
Goku frowned and then thought about it and then he gave his famous hand behind head scratch and laugh. " No Chichi I don't, what is it?" Chichi opened her mouth and yelled.. " Goku it means I don't want to be married to your sayijin ass anymore. You come and go and you eat and leave me. We don't spend anytime together. All we have is one day just one lousy day. Soon enough you will get in trouble and leave me again. You don't need a wife you need a vending machine!!"   
  
Goku could see that she was angry and he tried to walk closer to her and hold her. "Hey Chichi let's just talk about this while I get something to eat" Chichi could not believe that he just had the Gaul to mention something about food just now. When she just told him how much she felt that she was just a sayjin chief "You want food Goku? Here take this!!"   
  
Chichi ran over to the dish rack and began to throw dishes at Goku. Goku dodged them as he tried to call out to his wife on a rampage. Chichi picked up the whole table startling the dorky lawyer. " Here Goku eat this you bastard!!" Goku was dodging everything. "GET OUT GOKU AND DON'T COME BACK HERE!!!" Goku had no choice.   
  
Never had a seen his wife so mad. Goku had no choice but to teleport to the home of Vegeta and Bulma. It was night and Vegeta and Bulma was getting it on.... " Oh Vegeta, don't stop. Vegeta and Bulma were interrupted by a Goku who teleported himself right in front of their bed. " Hey Vegeta I...Hey!! What are you two doing? What are you looking for down there? Why is your head there? Is Bulma okay? She seems to be moaning really load!" Hey why are you two naked?"   
  
They both turned around naked and embarrassed " KAKAROTTO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE GET OUT! Goku was embarrassed. He slowly put two and two together and teleported himself outside the bedroom door. He yelled out to Vegeta to let him know that he was waiting outside the bedroom door. " Vegeta! I need to talk to you, it's really important. Bulma looked at her mate, " We can finish this later Vege-chan, it sounds like Goku really needs you. We'll both get dressed and talk to him.  
  
Goku paced back and fourth until the bedroom door cracked open. " Kakorrotto, what the hell could be so damn important. "Vegeta, Bulma, you have got to help me! Chichi wants to divorce me!! Both Vegeta and Bulma seemed shocked! "Goku continued.. " She had a man called Lawyer with divorce papers. She said all I do is come and go! what can I do? Please help" Vegeta chuckled. " What can we do? Your mate has finally came to her senses!" Bulma nudged him with her elbow. " Vegeta how could you say that???? He needs our help.   
  
Vegeta folded his arms and became silent they he spoke " I am not giving Kakkorotto love advice. 'Fine then", Bulma said. " I will give him all the advice he needs. As for what we were doing before Goku came, take a very,very, long rain check.  
  
Vegeta did not change his mind. He stood there with his arms folded and sighed. Bulma took Goku out to her front yard and talked to him. " Bulma what do I do?" Goku asked. Bulma said " Goku, when was the last time, well you know made love to Chichi. "Huh?" you can make these things now?" Bulma sighed. "Fine when was the last time you saw Chichi naked?" Goku counted or he tried to. "Well how old is Goten?" Bulma answered. " He is 6 years old." " Well then it was six years ago." Bulma was shocked at his reply. " Goku six years!! That is why she is so mad. Look, you got to get your groove on. Here come with me to my basement.   
  
There she showed him x-rated videos. " Goku this is what Chichi wants. With roses and flowers. She showed Goku more movies. Romance movies. This too along with the sex. Get to know her. Her favorite color her favorite food. Pamper her. Then knock off her socks in bed!!! Quick go now. We wasted a lot of time. Remember everything I showed you all the movies the advice. Go and save your marriage.   
  
Goku telported back to his home. Chichi wore herself out and she was upstairs sleeping. Goku tried to cook something simple for her. He had seen he do it a thousand times. He made two fried eggs. Two bad they were still in the shell. Goku found it almost impossible to keep the shell on as he fried it. While she slept , Goku tried his very best to clean up the house. He noted that Goten was staying at Trunks. "Okay Goku said to himself, here comes the hard part.'   
  
Goku opened up his bedroom door. He sat beside Chichi and woke her. Chichi's sleeping face turned from peaceful to anger. " Goku didn't I tell you to..." " Goku tried to remember what he saw earlier. " Shhh baby. Be quiet. Let me talk." Chichi was shocked at his choice of words. " Baby? What the hell has gotten into you. "   
Goku tried to think of something of everything he saw Earlier. Too bad it was the porno that stuck in his head the most. " I want to bang you baby, Bend over!" Chichi's mouth dropped. " Goku what the hell has gotten into you, are you Goku ?  
  
Goku began unbuttoning his shirt and then hers. Chichi was really curious as to what the hell he was doing. Goku did what ever he could remember from the movies he saw. "Hey Chichi, let me carry you in my arms and walk out the door and walk back in.  
" Goku we did not just get married what are you doing?"   
  
Goku took off all her clothe and then thought to himself. " Okay baby let me get it from the back." Chichi stopped him. " Goku just what in hell are you doing? You sound like some cheap cheesy movie. Goku explained. I did not want to loose you so, I asked for help and watched some movies on love and sex. " How am I doing?"   
  
Chichi could not help but smile. How could she stay mad at him. " Goku I just want us to spend more time together. That's all. I should of talked to you and let you know.   
"Oh look at that" said Goku, he's pointing at you.... Chichi looked down and said yes he is. Well while we both are in our birthday suits..lets get busy!!~!!!!  
  
the end 


End file.
